Up to Speed

One week down, ? to go.

Two cats are mauling one another outside my hotel right now. It's a daily occurrence. I especially love it when they go at it at 1 in the morning and all the neighborhood dogs chime in with their opinion on the matter. I wish I had a bucket of water to throw on them.

There's a whole posse of pussies that live in an abandoned lot out back. It's great for local property values.

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We were able to head east to the Black Sea today. Saw a few small towns and the city of Burgas. Checked out some of the coastline, got my sand and had an espresso and juice. That was about all she wrote for the trip. Mike and I were both pretty beat and not really up for a full day of exploring, so we headed back to the hotel, got some dinner and now here I am.

The Black Sea from Burgas on a rather hazy day.

A view of the Black Sea and a small town south of Burgas.

About the aforementioned juice... Everyone drinks juice. If a Bulgarian is thirsty, they reach for a juice. Not water, that's absurd and unheard of. They grab a juice. I don't quite get it, but there's plenty of things already on the list of things I don't get. I was asking George (our friendly bartender) about the obsession with juice, and he just said that ordering a water is unthinkable. I asked him what the futbol and basketball players drink when they're playing, seeing as though I doubt they have a huge jug of juice sitting on the sidelines. He agreed that it was probably water. So bam, take that George. Water is tops.

While I'm ranting, I'd also like to touch upon another beef I have with the Bulgers; Their head nods are mixed up. When they are saying yes, they shake their heads no and when saying no, they shake their heads yes... It's freaking confusing. George informed me that they're (the Bularians) are the only people he's aware of that do it that way. Crazy stuff going on over here, it's like some messed up bizarro world. I'll probably end up running into Bizarro Steve... He'll have the same name, DOB, lineage, etc except he'll be smart, attractive, funny and athletic.

As I've stated in my previous blog, I'm sore. My feet have never been this jacked up before... days off have never been this necessary.

DC United continues to lose, I think they need my support.

The Fly-Guys are hopefully about to take the opening series from the hapless Caps... Bwaa Ha Haaa! C-A-P-S Suck Suck Suck!

Now watch, the Flyers will lose in 7, all because of me.

I've come to realize that I have a specific pose that I like to hold when being photographed in semi-exotic locals. Here it is in Adak, Alaska

Here it is in Slupsk, Poland.

And most recently, here it is in Bulgaria.

I think everyone should have a pose.

I don't know how I'm going to entertain myself at night now. I just completed season 4 of The Wire but failed to download season 5 before coming to the Bulg... Shhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiittt as Senator Clay Davis would say. I tried to DL 5 from the hotel, but it's taking way too long. May just have to go on a Wire hiatus for a while. Blast.

Check out this billboard... Isn't it great?

That's the biggest nipple I've ever seen, has to be bigger than my peanut head! There's another one where some chick with her underboobs hanging out has a 2x4 or something appearing as though it's being shoved somewhere where it shouldn't be if you catch my drift. I think it's an add for a hardware store but I dono. If I can recall correctly, she's wearing boots and a hardhat. Now I know why there's so many grave markers on the sides of the roads here.

Lets play a little game. See if you can find me. It's like Where's Waldo, except my name is Steve, and I'm not dressed like Waldo. You can tell I'm out of Wire episodes, I'm bored and as a result, this is turning into a really long and uneventful blog. Anyways, back to the game.

See me?

Any luck?

How about now?

There be me.

Good day from the Bulg.

- Waldo